if you think you have identity issues, try being a teenager
stereo hell is an honorable place despite how it might seem
Some of Barry Ritholtz’s blog readers recently visited stereo hell following:
The bloggers I referenced had produced original material, rather than comments on other people’s original material. These included Calculated Risk, WallStats, Stereo Hell and The Chart Store. Their original art/charts did a great job communicating a particular point I was trying to make…
I felt embarrassed that the first thing they read was another episode of kim’s debauchery. Then, they had to read about Malibu’s SRS… while Barry Ritholtz was making reference to the Strip’s Classic Design drawings featured in his book, Bailout Nation.
to the question, what did malibu use to inject into the biggest vein of her dong, back in the 90s, before cruising on gansevoort?
1,5 gram bag of playboy-branded heroin (that she got for $10)
am i imagining or is the dating scene’s getting totally ridiculous?
once upon a time there was a single cutie with a terrific rack taking new applications for banker buddies and granting interviews via IM:
kim: my ideal significant other is 1) wealthy 2) handsome 3) single 4) average dick length
bb: i definitely have 1 covered perhaps even 3, possibly 2. as of 4, are you into oral?
kim: depends on who does what? i like having sex too
bb: penetration freaks me out
and he sent me a link to a scientific paper titled “does semen have antidepressant properties?”
intriguing enough to meet for dinner!
friday after work i came home to shower and dress up a bit, slick myself up, i even put on red lipstick. we had flank steaks at the tavern on jane and a bottle of red wine, and next thing you know he’s tonging me over the table. Wow does he get around. i don’t want to brag but i know how to use my tongue too, and i can tell you something was moving in his pants. the next act (bj in the bathroom) would have been like giving the bank’s keys to bonnie and clyde so i choose to make him wait a little (like one week). he was like, “kiss me more,” “come on,” “let’s bathe in each other’s lips.” i’m not a manipulative person, but i really hate when my near future is all mapped out. i am into l’aventura and forgetfulness so when people repeat the same thing over and over too many times, it gets on my nerves. the more you ask, the less you get. it’s actually my life in a nutshell, i work in a department staffed with “yes men” careful always to be predictable (in and out of office) you know you know, girls usually fall for that because it feels safe, then one day they wake up bored.
I was born bored.
or maybe i don’t like those first moments anymore.
like every gynecologist, he was pretty cold-blooded, he said he didn’t understand why people freaked out over air force one circling around lower manhattan monday, because they do decoy missions all the time, duh! and: “200 cases of swine flu? there’s more than 300 cases of west nile virus…” At this point his hard on was gone. he told me a joke too: “one day i sixty-nined a girl who had a clitoris like a pickle. Not as big. As sour.” i reciprocated with “a blind man walks in a store with his seeing-eye dog, he takes the leash and swings the dog in a circle over his head. the manager asks the blind man, what are you doing? and the blind man says, oh just looking around.”
after dinner he took me to cielo and introduced me to a girl at the bar, supposedly his ex, like he was trying to make me jealous? i don’t trust people who dress in pink to begin with, and two, when was the last time i was jealous of something? three she had short bronski beat orange hair. i danced all night long while he was drinking cosmos or something. My pants were so wet i had to take two showers when i got home! i woke up with bagel crumbs in my ass crack, wondering where i lost my underwear. he was in the bed with me, then i vaguely remember we did a sort of 69 in the kitchen and he snorted when he came.
1-800-KIM, the lines are open again
one year in sybil city, hapiness is a straight line
i asked imp to print one of her drawings of sybil and i painted it with water colors, put yellow (green?) in her eyes and hollywood-red for her lips, her hair is dark. She’s like synaesthesia, when you look at her it smells sex.
